Our Secret that is NO more...

The word is starting to get out...so I thought I would clarify things and let everyone know. It is allot easier this way-since there are so many questions and people are not sure how to ask or what to do. Some people feel this is a very private thing. But, as many of you know I am an "open book" sometimes-- and am willing to share intimate things with close friends (to a point of course). I also want to have this recorded in a journal--

Dan and I had a SECRET: We were going to be expecting our 5th child in early September. We rejoiced in this news as we are now 'open' to the idea for the first time since having Dacie. It would have been our biggest "break", so to speak, in between having children.

When we started to have large numbers of children we decided to keep this news on the 'low-down' until I started showing, just to avoid speculation, comments, and to help the time seem to pass faster (HOWEVER we NEEDED the FULL 9 months to get ready!). I also am the assistant girls camp director with my stake calling and was STILL going to camp--and wanted to avoid all the worry!

The first week after discovering our secret went great. But during the second week I started spotting. I thought little of it at first since I spotted a day or two with Dacie BUT NEVER with any of my others. When the spotting continued for more then a week and cramping set it--I knew that I may be miscarrying.

At 6 weeks into the pregnancy I knew that something was definitely not right. However, I also felt the best I had since I had discovered I was pregnant. I had a BIG YW/YM mini-conference that weekend, so the timing was not great. Our Presidency was so supportive and kind about me having to flake out the day of for a little while.

On Monday I went to the doctor and they were excited that I was still registering pregnant, and there was a little hope. BUT after an ultrasound it was confirmed that I was having what they call a complete spontaneous abortion (I don't like that terminology).

People have ask how I have been. Really, I have been at PEACE since it first started happening. This is something that is absolutely out of my hands.If something is not right with the pregnancy or the baby I would MUCH rather have it happen now than later. I realize that I am "lucky" that my miscarriages happen at the beginning and not to far into my pregnancies, if they are not working out (this is my 2nd miscarriage-I have 2 children and then miscarry). However, I did have longer this time to embrace the idea. I had one hard night of it, and by the next morning I was OK. I was grateful the worst happened over the weekend while Dan was home.

One of my friends described some of my feelings perfectly--as she had a similar experience, but her pregnancy kept. "I have felt that empty feeling. The feeling that my body betrayed me, and the guilt over the slight relief (if that makes sense-relief that my body was taking care of a fetus that should not have worked out, but guilt over that too.) "

I am still going through the process of making this complete, and it may take some months to have it completely healed. I also may need some medical intervention, but for now my body is taking care of it. I feel like after I have had a baby, and my body has taken longer recovering after my last 2 pregnancies--so I expect this to be no different. Emotionally/Hormonally I am doing good. I do spontaneously cry at moments-like during a newborn baby commercial last night. I feel like I am in a funk at times, but OVERALL-- I am GREAT!

Really I am at peace, I am good and I look forward to the future.

I have felt an outpouring of kindness and sincere concern. This situation is so minor compared to so many things other people have to face, but it is a testimony to me that I am surrounded by GOOD friends and family who absolutely support me regardless of the level of hardship--and I feel genuinely LOVED. That is the BEST feeling to have.

I realize that I have been behind on posting and other things, but I realize why as well.

SO you want to hear our next BIGGEST secret? I am going to apply to be on BIGGEST LOSER!!! I am hyped soooo...Yeah, look for me on TV! Or further posts to let you know how my application is coming.

HaPpy 8 YEARS, My LoVE!

Dan and I were married 8 years ago today....

As many of you have heard me say in the past.There is more than one person you can marry. However, you can make the better choice, for you. There is not a "one and only" as the world portrays it --BUT with that being said, after having been married to Dan he is "MY ONE AND ONLY". He could pass away and I would never need to get re-married-- because, I have felt what it is like to really be loved, I have felt love in its purest form-- and because of this love I feel absolutely content and satisfied in that area of my being, whether it is right by me or far away. He is the best one for me! I am grateful I FINALLY listened when the spirit told me that this was a really good thing!

With that being said-I can comfortably say that I am happily married after 8 years. We have accomplished so much in those 8 years. Sometimes we are astonished when our anniversary rolls around that it has not been longer. Dan committed to write a post about the things we have accomplished together. I really believe those are the things that help you grow into love. We have always been looking outward in the same direction (not necessarily in each others eyes)! So stay tuned for the resume of 8years of marriage (post)!!! ha ha ha

Our wedding was ABSOLUTELY perfect in every way. I celebrated with soo many that I love. I think I was able to share it with a person from every stage of my life. Because I was a little bit older when I got married I had experienced allot of things, and I was ECSTATIC to share the most important thing in my life with them-childhood peers, family, high school friends and even teachers, lifeguard buddies, Hill Cumorah Pageant friends, MTC students, EFY counselors/ participants, Basketball coached gals, BYU roomies and friends, girls camp leaders and gals, YW folk, mission companions, president and people I fell in love with....it was a celebration of my life and those who had entered it.I could not imagine it any other way!Besides you all know I am a party girl and this was a great reason to celebrate!

As many of you also know-it took quite awhile for me to decide to get married ...so when I FINALLY did, we CELEBRATED!

The circumstances in my life were 'different' when Dan and I got married. I had returned home from my mission in California--only to find out that my family was moving from Maryland (where I spent a majority of my life) back to California, at the end of that summer. So... when I got married my "home" was in a variety of places. I had taken out my endowments for my mission in the Washington DC temple. I had always known I would be married there. My family had barely moved from MD. months previous to when I was getting married. Dan and I were attending school at BYU and could have chosen a Utah temple--as we both had an abundance of family living there.Dan being raised for a majority of his life in Arizona--Mesa was always an option. Lastly, having served in California and my family now being there-- I could have gotten married in Oakland temple--as that was my mission temple. Realizing travel would have to be made by many wherever we chose, we reviewed the cost of flights, it was only 25 dollars more to go to DC and be in the state that was "home" to me. So amidst some grumblings and complaints we went ahead and decided to get married in DC and shared in every other place!

With a 5 plus month engagement-we had plenty of time to celebrate. Our wedding travels turned into what many would 'lovingly' refer to as the WEDDING TOUR 2000!!!! Some were planned, and some were unplanned and just came to be as time went on!

I kick myself for not getting t-shirts made, BUT if we had this is what it would of said (of course my memory is fading me so the dates may be off a bit):

~

SORENSEN/HUTCHINGS WEDDING TOUR 2000

Provo, Utah ((May/June 2000)-Surprise Bridal Shower

Auburn, California (July 2000)- Engagement party

Germantown, Maryland (July/ August 2000)- Bridal shower

Provo, Utah (September 2000)- Teacher Bridal shower

Washington DC- (OCTOBER 21, 2000) ~WEDDING DAY

Montgomery Village, Maryland (October 21, 2000)-Wedding day luncheon/reception

Rocky Point, Mexico ((October 24-26)-Honeymoon

Glendale, Arizona (October 26, 2000)- Open House

Provo, Utah (October 28, 2000)- Formal Reception

Lets take a trip down memory lane....

Provo, Utah May/June 2000-BYU ward surprise bridal shower

Despite all our LONG saga of love stories(REALLY!)....ironically 3 of us roomies (l to r: Alicia Hutchings(engaged to Dan), Carrine Ukila..sorry I forgot how to spell your last name Carrine(engaged to Randall), Christine Hutchings(engaged to Dave))ended being engaged at the same time (one being my cousin!) . My cousin and I were serving in the RS presidency for the ward and the gals got together to wish us well with a surprise!

AUBURN, California July 2000 Engagement Party

One of my most favorite people in the whole world, that I saw baptized while serving in Auburn, on my mission, Mark Mackay (his post is still coming), threw me an engagement party. Understanding my life in transition and being a party planner himself, he asked to throw me a engagement party as a wedding gift, while I was home in the summer with my family. I could invite those that I had recently served in the Roseville California mission and extended family I had living there. We had a country themed bar-b-q- in the rolling hills at Marks home. It was the happiest mission reunion EVER!

Germantown, Maryland July/August 2000- Bridal shower

My best friend from high school Alin Bauchiero threw me a bridal shower, since I was flown back that summer to help do girls camp in our old stake.
The day is soon arriving!!!! Sending out wedding invites a month before the BIG day
I LOVED our wedding announcement, because they folded up into threes and made this sweet, little, simple envelope invite!



October 20, 2000-Washington DC Tour
Since Dan had never been East of the Mississippi--we decided to go take the bus tour of DC the day before the wedding. It was a 'quickie', BUT we are going back one day....

OCTOBER 21, 2000~ OUR WEDDING DAY!

My wedding day was what I had always envisioned and more. It was during my favorite season...FALL. The leaves had changed colors BUT the day was warm and clear. I was in my favorite temple, with a man who adored me, surrounded by a few of our closest family and friends. I was absolutely in bliss!
But, the most important thing is that I was starting eternity. This was not just a 'till death do we part' thing--it was forever! What comfort, peace and stability that commitment brought. Someone wanted me forever, and I them!
I would NOT have changed a thing about the day (even me falling down the stairs and breaking the heel on my shoe--it was comic relief)!

October 21, 2000- Luncheon/Reception after the sealing
We decided to combine a busy day of wedding events and make our wedding luncheon a reception at the same time. Giving us an early evening so we could catch a plane early the next morning.
The picture above is us leaving the luncheon (as Mr. & Mrs. Sorensen--it took some getting used too!) to a trashed rental car that required cleaning before calling it a night. We did learn from this, and for our Provo Reception we rode a carriage and horse to our far away parked car!


October 24-26 2000 Rocky Point, Mexico- Honeymoon Bliss
It was the most romantic time of my LIFE! We spent days on the beach, watching sunsets and spent nights listening to the waves by candlelight in the most beautiful of homes-- enjoying and learning about us -no phones, TV or people around!
October 26, 200- Glendale, Arizona Open House

We returned from our honeymoon only to run straight to an open house. I should of known better...realizing that Dan had lived there for most of his life, and much of his extended family as well--this little open house was a full-blown reception. You heard no complaints from me!

October 28, 2000- Utah Formal Reception
Since this reception landed on my birthday- of course,we had to have a pinata!!!!!
Because a majority of friends and family were centrally located in Utah, and because this is where we were residing at the time--we ended the wedding tour with a formal reception in Provo, Utah.
This reception was super fun and so well attended!
We had a program with singing...
AND everyone dancing. The big white puff in the middle right, would be me-I lost pieces of my dress at this point! I got good use of it!

...guitar playing (Dan wrote and sang a song for me on his guitar IN FRONT OF EVERYONE--knowing him even better, now, I realize what a HUGE sacrifice that was on his part)
Clogging Performance (I was on the BYU folkdance back-up teams while attending BYU-Clogging was a favorite!!!) this is a rendition of Dan and I's courtship, performed by my cousin Jason Finch and sister Amberlyn--it was hilarious!!!!
I was teaching 3rd grade at Franklin Elementary at the time, and my class even came and performed cowboy songs (me helping them sing above, and the class singing below)! It was a cowboy, sunflower, fall theme for the wedding. We even had this reception in a big barn!!!Don't worry I have settled down a bit since then, and I have "bunkered" down and become a good ol' frumpy mom!

For those of you who know Dan well, realize that socializing and attention to him-are not his thing. He was a little leery about all these events...until we brought home all the gifts (I could have cared less about the gifts..I LOVE the sociability), and then he wanted to schedule some more.Ha ha ha-he is so funny! We can look around our house and see pieces of everyone in it. We were so blessed by so many who wanted to celebrate with us and sacrifice-- comfort,money, travel, gifts and convenience to make it all happen! We realize it was made possible by so many- we will never take that one for granted. Thanks for sharing this special time with us...even 8 years later!

It was hard coming back to reality after all that fun--BUT we did! I cannot look at these pictures and not smile. It was an AmAzInG time in my life!!! I will never forget it...ever--

This is one of the rewards for 8 years of marriage- a picture helper (our four beautiful children)!!!!! Dacie loved helping me take a trip down memory lane!

I LOVE YOU DANIEL RAY SORENSEN!!!!

Home Sweet Home?

So...Dan spends more of his waking hours in his "new home" (office) then he does in his old home (our house)-- (we realize that it is the nature of a full-time job) BUT who can blame Dan for enjoying it!--Check out why below:

First, Dan starts his mornings off (for an hour or so @6:20am) at a "breakfast shop" (seminary/institute building across from the H.S) in town--where all the CoOL teenagers hang out!
Then Dan arrives at his "mansion" (Northern Arizona Rehabilitation and Fitness) where he will spend the next 10 hours "hangin' out" (working HARD w/ no lunch break).

Dan can't complain too much as there is always 'benefits' for being the best looking sibling in the bunch (Dan is in the upper right hand corner-he has ALWAYS looked dang good in a cowboy hat)
Time permitting (ha ha) Dan would take a few laps in the heated, therapeutic, indoor pool with a fitness instructor (Dan's boss) --this place has its perks!
Even if Dan was in a wheel chair-they could get him in with the lift they have installed!
No complaints about "working out" (working WITH patients) in a new high tech gym with LOTS of new equipment-- that ain't so bad either!
OR if Dan preferred he could always improve his game of golf and go and practice on the professional putting green --out the back windows (has never even gone out there--too busy)

Dan never has to climb stairs ...because ,of course, his home has an elevator (that he rarely uses).
IF Dan's knee IS feeling well he could always go for a walk up and down the cool, spiral stairs
Oh, and the upper covered deck is to die for--HUGE ceiling fans included for those hot summer days!
Also included in Dan's home is an upgraded "kitchen" (break room)--soda machines and all. He gets to enjoy about a meal a week "on the house" (if he can make it up there between patients).
A nice, BIG, new, bathroom w/ POWERFUL toilets is ALWAYS a BONUS!

In case Dan works up a sweat while he is working so hard--he could always take a shower in the locker room!
Who would NOT WANT a laundry room with counter and cabinet space GALORE?!!!

There is always plenty of space to sit--on new furniture, in his new "Living Room" (waiting room) as well!! And included in these luxurious accommodations is a personal secretary who answers the phone for him!!! And plans his "social calendar" (schedule of patients) everyday.
Last and certainly not least --Dan goes somewhere everyday where he is LOVED and looked up too (most of the time). The patients even bake for him on a regular basis-- and bring him treats! (One of Dan's faithful and fun patients Adel--who has loved our tribe since we moved here) .

IF I had to go someplace for most my day I certainly would pick a place like this!!

*The only bummers are--Dan rarely has any time to enjoy the amenenties--what they have worked so hard for keeps them super busy, AND we (the family) can't enjoy it with him!!!

Can You Whistle?!!!

So today while I was picking up my children from a friends home, I kept hearing someone whistling. It sounded like they were in my car OR really nearby. I kept looking around trying to find the person whistling...and finally found the sweet old lady across the street whistling while she was doing yard work. This reminded me of a conversation I had with my husband on our way to the temple on Saturday.

MY HUSBAND CAN'T WHISTLE? I was astonished when I first discovered this while dating. I did not know it was possible to not know how to whistle. How can anyone go through the scouting program, or childhood without whistling? My husband surely did with very happy memories. How can anyone be a dad and not be able to call his kids? Well my hubby sure does.

Was it because he was never taught? because he never tried? I don;t have any memories of someone specifically sitting me down to teach me to whistle....then I found out HIS MOM CANNOT WHISTLE either. Hmm....it began to make me wonder if it is a genetic thing. I realize this is really NOT a big deal--I was just super surprised to learn that there are some people who just CAN'T WHISTLE. I even practiced with my hubby in the car to see if I could coach him into it. He has a small mouth, does that matter? IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO CAN"T WHISTLE? I am super curious to find out.

But for now he will just have to settle for this form of whistling below....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY McDREAMY!

Happy 32nd Birthday Daniel Ray!!!! Isn't he a McDreamy?- The groom Dan the man, at our Utah reception on October 28, 2000

32 years ago my life changed forever... as my "future" entered the world. Although we both could have chosen other 'paths' and not chosen one another...we did choose each other, and so on June 2, 1976 my life was forever changed for good. I was only 7 months old when he arrived, and we were both born in the same hospital--sometimes I wonder if our mom's crossed paths on BYU campus or in Provo. We would not meet for another 24 years or so-- But I KNOW the world is a better place for having him in it. I rarely get to celebrate JUST HIM..so I am going to "toot his horn"!! He deserves so much more than just one day!

Riding the metro back from visiting DC the day before our wedding. I had been sick and Dan has always been my Rock!

Dan's mission president summed him up very well, he said that- "Elder Sorensen would go into an area and make it better. No one would realize it until he left, and then they would notice it was much better." Dan does quietly come in and make things better , without any fanfare or demanding attention. He is a stress absorber, not giver. He is an observer--gently and quietly doing his tasks, and what is asked of him.

For a marriage/ family relationship class taught in church one week-they asked us to name all the qualities of our spouse that helped us choose to marry them. I ran across that list in my scriptures the other day and I would say it is the definition of Dan, if you were to look it up in the dictionary:

spiritually mature, sound reasoning, stability, calm, good looking, humble, accepts criticism, excellent missionary, serves me, soft spoken, slow to anger, expresses himself honestly, honest, smart, gentle, same goals as me, plays basketball, true to his word, never pushes himself on me, KING, treats me like a queen, tall, and likes sports.

Dan and his 'Best Man'-Justin Clegg (one of Dan's BF in highschool and college roommate)-ironically they share the same birthday-Happy B-Day Clegg!!

Because of Dan's maturity and eternal perspective in every situation allot of people (including myself) really look up to Dan for his advice. He is solid and thinks rationally (even if it means that he does not agree with me--darn it). He has a way with words that are clear, concise, and non-judgemental (except during basketball sometimes-ha ha). When he gives talks and teaches he really knows how to make the scriptures and gospel principles applicable to our life. He understands them. He is very knowledgeable (gospel and academic wise), and our family has benefited from that leadership. He will rarely offer unsolicited advice, he has to know you desire it before he offers it.He is the opposite of a dictator, which has been beneficial as we have found ourselves raising children, managing budgets, changing diapers, doing dishes, etc. etc.

Getting married was a 'leap of faith' for me (read I am engaged post) HOWEVER I had no idea how lucky I was going to get. I know that sounds cheesy. BUT I could not see what kind of father he was going to be, or the type of provider. I could hope and see qualities that would make him good--but he has FAR exceeded my expectations in some of those areas.

I did not know what I was going to be like pregnant (I'm not gonna lie, I am pretty hormonal) and he has taken the pregnancies on like a champ! I cannot imagine doing any labor and birthing without him RIGHT by my side..I really mean RIGHT by it. When I selectively chose a natural (no meds at all) birth I am ABSOLUTELY positive I would NOT have done it without him--he is an amazing 'coach' . The only person I really care about being there while I labor is him (OK and someone who knows how to catch a baby!) He is an AMAZING father and is definitely a helpmate in parenting. Many times he comes straight home from a 10-hour day (no lunch breaks) to roll up his sleeves and start dinner, bathe kids, take out trash, do dishes...without a word of complaint. He always encourages me to get out and go walking or to girls game nights.What hubby looks forward to coupon clipping and menu planning? Dan does!!!

He leads our family with prayer, scripture study and family home evenings. I never have to wonder if we are going to the temple or if he is paying our tithing.

You can get to know Dan better if you are into watching a game or two, playing 'thinking' games (board or PS2), you golf, listen to rock,or play basketball. Dan is very quick to apologize if he ever has lost his temper or done something wrong. Heck--he even apologizes when he has not done anything wrong. He is hard to stay mad at!

Dan and Alicia at our couples Halloween Party-October 2007
Dan can be a romantic (I know gag,gag). I LOVE his love notes, if you think he speaks well...you should read his thoughts. At our wedding reception in Utah, we had a program-- Dan wrote a song for me on his guitar and sang it in front of the hundreds of people there. Now, knowing Dan even better, I realize what a HUGE sacrifice that was for him. He really tries to make me happy regardless of the embarrassment, or time, money and effort. We have danced in the dark and in the rain. I LOVE the way my head fits perfectly in the crook of his neck... and despite our endless quest to cut back on our budget..babysitting and date fees are non-contested by him! I know he understands real love, and I am the major recipient of it. I know very few people have gotten close enough to him to feel that love, but if you have, it is a mature kind of love you would never forget.Dan is dedicated and devoted. Once you have him, he is an asset. He will not be going anywhere without allot of thought and prayer, and absolutely open communication.He has been very loyal to his employer and always gets done what is asked in a timely manner-- and done well, he treats his patients with respect, concern and patience. Dan is in for the 'long haul'. He approaches many facets in his life this way and because of this I have stability in my life.
Dan has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. He LOVES wearing t-shirts with funny sayings on them! The office is his kind of show/humor. He can pull off a prank on me every once in awhile--but otherwise he is pretty predictable.
Dan is easily entreated and grateful for the small things (thus he could care less I am 2 days late on this post--he is just grateful for what I did do on his birthday). He has taught me to take things slower and to relax. He enjoys free-time and non-rigid schedules. He is strong in everything I am weak in (and vice a versa). Big trauma's do not stress him out-he can always see the bigger picture!
Sorensen Men September 2007
There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful Dan was born!
I LOVE YOU--I am glad you are mine!