"I'm Not Gonna Lie": Don't Play With FIRE!!!!

Get a hold of these...

and prune the old garden weeds like this...

Cut down the honeysuckle taking over your fence like this...

Add some of this....

Stand much too close to this (while throwing it what you just cut) ...

= EQUALS= THIS.....

A BALD HUSBAND

** bald beats kissing singed eyebrows, bangs, and eye lashes-he smelled of something fierce (burned hair has quite the potent odor)

I HOPE it GROWS BACK in time for my brothers wedding on Easter!!!

~OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES~

2/14/07-Sterling had given me a heart necklace he had gotten in school for Valentines, b/c girls wear necklaces. He even layed it on my counter while I was showering so I would not forget it! I wore it all day proudly. Ryland (2) wanted it, and was trying to talk me out of it, our conversation went something like this:
M(mom): You can't have this necklace, because Sterling gave it to me to wear, and girls wear the necklaces.
R: Pausing for just a moment--you can't wear it forever!
M: Yes, I can.
R:Ummm, no you can't because then you will turn into a fish and not be a part of the family.
M: Wouldn't you be soo sad to not have a mommy?
R: No b/c you will not be in the family.
I am NOT a Fish and He has the necklace now (after Valentines)!

Jan/Feb 2007.-Ryland (2) asks for some "Gatorador" (Gatorade) in his cup. For the life of him with all our coaching he cannot call it just gatorade (he combines it with alligator-gatorade has that sound in it!)

2/16/07-Sterling (5) says out of no where: "Mom, when I have babies you are going to be a grandma" (he is really into who he is going to marry and looking forward to having children right now, weird), I reply "yup!" (thinking of all the fun I will have w/out all the responsibility!-ha ha) Sterling then says, "we will get in the car and come visit you.", and I said, "oh, yes!" he thinks for a minute and says, "you need to live close so we only have to drive a minute to get there." I said, "OK!"(I guess he is tired of making long road trips to visit grandparents! ha ha ha)

2/18/07- Sterling (5) in exasperation says to his brothers who are making a Lego creation, "you guys aren't following my corrections!" (meaning directions)-- he says this terminology frequently.

3/9/07- Remind us to warn the girls that the way to Sterling's (5) heart is through his stomach. After eating something delicious (I think a cup of grapefruit from Gpa's tree) he was telling Colton about it and said "and then I ate a mouthful of love."

3/10/07-Ryland (2) has been doing fairly well about telling us when he has to do a 'stinky', and then doing it in the toilet. Well, today was NOT one of those days--when I asked him why he went in his diaper he replied immediatly, "I look in the mirror and I not growed up yet!" little stinker..literally!

3/28/08 -Ryland (3) was stuck outside with his brothers until they cleaned up the backyard, and they were all having a hard time of it while Dan and I started to eat dinner. Ryland wanted to come in w/out cleaning and started w/ this tactic "mom, my tummy needs something" as he held it and cried big alligator sobs "mom it needs something special", after a few times of repeating this it changed to ," now my heart is crying, mom" "its crying" Oh he is good, but it did not work. I had Dan to keep me strong!

4/1/08- Sterling (5) Dacie was running around naked after leaking out of her diaper all over her crib while I cleaned...AND Sterling exclaimed super suprised, "OH MY, Dacie doesn't have a penis" (we use correct anatomy terminology around here) and then he thought for a minute and said," oh, thats allright--she will get one when she gets older." So you can fill in blanks to the rest of our conversation.

April 2008- Ryland (3) Every time Ryland wants to say tommorow-he says "next year". For instance, we saw a babysitter at the wedding reception and he said, "Mom lets get her next year." Meaning next time we need a babysitter-lets get her. He says it at least once a day-"I will eat my lunch next year!" Oh to be young again- when time is not an issue!

May 2, 2008- Sterling (5) Was outside playing with some girlfriends. He was the dad and one of the other girls was the mom--the rest were children. Sterling promplty sent one to time out and then a little bit later said, " We are the parents so we stay up late like 12 or something!" I sat inside smiling at his interperatation of parenting!

August 3, 2008- Sterling (5) Was getting his hair done for church when he said to me--"you have a big toothbrush like Me and Colton". I told him it was because he was getting bigger teeth. "Oh yeah, mom, Colton and I are turning into teenagers" . Really Sterling? "yeah we are growing into teenagers." Uh oh, I am NOT ready for teenagers!

September 3, 2008- We were talking to Sterling (5) at dinner about clearing the table and he stated, " I am the uncle" I told him he was not, and he said, "If I were the Uncle then I would not have to clear the table" (aah now I understand why he said that) To which I replied, "you are not an uncle until one of your brothers or sister has a baby". I asked Colton if he was having a baby to which Colton (7) replied, " I am NOT having a baby...maybe my wife will." LONG PAUSE "If I find one!"Dan and I could not stop laughing at the conversation that had just happened.

September 20, 2008- When I announced to the kids it was time to do our saturday morning chores. Sterling's (5) reply went something like this, " It is a beautiful day outside the house, NOT inside the house." Nice try Sterling! ha ha ha ha--so I let him wash the sliding door windows OUTSIDE-ha ha

Post toilet training-Ryland (3) always exclaims in a super loud voice after he has gone to the bathroom, "Can someone please change me?" meaning-can someone please wipe me! he's just use to the diaper terminology, I guess!

November 13, 2008- As we are driving down a bumpy, unpaved road to get to preschool (the back way)-Ryland (3) says, "mom the workers need to come fix this road" To which I reply-"You are right!" Then Ryland proceeded to say, "the Lamanites messed this road all up." After getting a good chuckle, I then remembered the other morning a few days ago when Dacie came out of her bedroom with some SERIOUS bed-head and Ryland exclaimed, "Look, Dacie has Lamanite hair!" ha ha ha-- he is on a Lamanite fettish lately (obviously is referring to the unrighteous lamanites in the Book of Mormon-not 'lamanites' of today)

August 8, 2009- Sterling (6)- after getting a check mark on his discipline chart for breaking one of the family rules he loudly exclaimed from the back seat of the car, "I am SO NOT having checkmarks when I am a dad"
To which I replied," So what are you going to do when your child makes bad choices?" Sterling said without hesitation, " Spank him!" To which Dan asked "well, what if he is still bad?" Sterling says, "Spank him again and then put him in time out!"
Why did we not think of that to begin with? ha ha ha

November 2 & 3, 2009- Ryland (4)- Ryland's conversations with us lately have been quite humorous! They have gone something like this:
Last night at FHE Ryland found my eyelgasses and put them on, then he came running out to me and said "look mom, do I look like a professional?" After I recovered from laughing I asked him, "do you even know what a professional is?"
R-"yes, it is a scien~tester (aka scientist)"
Me- "oh, a scientester what are those?"
R-"you know, the bad ones make zombies and the good ones do experiments."

This morning Ryland did not want to wear his jacket to school, so I told him that if I did not have him dress porperly that the school would call the police.
R: "Oh good, I want the police to take me"
Me: "They would not take you, they would take me and give you to someone else to take care of you...wouldn't that be sad?"
R: "not if the new people do not follow satans plan, if they follow Jesus it will be OK"
Me: "What if the new family does not believe in Jesus?"
R: "I would just run away and find someone who follows Jesus."
Me; "Wouldn't you miss me?"
R: "Oh yeah, but you will be out in about 5 years or 75 months or something like that...."

*BTW- so I do not forget- everything to Ryland right now is "hims" and "hers" like Gollum on Lord of the Rings- i.e. "hims mom wants him to go out and play"
He also refers to Dacie's private part as her "bagenie" instead of the proper anatomical word...nice! (can you tell we have been potty training around here) ha ha ha

November 2009- Sterling (7) came home from school on a particularly cloudy, rainy and cold day. The house had "shown" that morning to a potential buyer. I was laying on my bed resting after a 'busy' morning, when the boys walked in returning from school, and Sterling exclaims in a loud voice with absolute utter relief "aaaah, a clean and dry house!!"
Oooh that made my day!!!

November 19, 2009- Ryland (4)
R: Mom, I changed my mind~ I want to have a baby girl
M: Well, its a little too late for that now buddy, we are having a boy. Why do you want a girl instead of a baby brother?
R: Because one day you are going to get old and die and we need another mom
M: Well, Dacie can be the mom
R: She is too tiny
M: Well, this baby would be even younger than Dacie. By the time I die you will be married and then you and your wife can be the mom and dad
R:Oh, I am just talking about next time
M: Next what?
R: Next time you have another baby
OH HECK! I need to make it through this one first! ha ha ha

January 2010- Sterling (7)
Talking about the impending arrival of our new baby. Sterling asked "does it hurt to push out the baby?" To which I replied that "yes, it does." Sterling responded, with ALLOT of emphasis, " I am soooo glad I am not a girl!!" I smiled and then he continued, "another good reason to be a boy is that we get the priesthood." To which I simply smiled and shook my head in agreement. LOVE KIDS!

March 3, 2010- Ryland (almost 5)
We were having a pork roast rub for dinner and Ryland wanted some more..he handed his plate to Dan and said, "give me some more hog please!" ha ha ha we have no idea where he got the "hog" from.
Dacie (3) has also been referring to any form of beans...chili, pork and beans etc. as Boston baked beans. " I want some boston baked beans." She claims she learned that from Grandmas camp and the boys say it is her cousins!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Don't Play With FIRE!!!!

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STERLING DANIEL (7)

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